I am not sure that I should be integrated with the general population. Everything around me is really stupid, I have no time for it, or I feel completely overwhelmed through my sugar and shit withdrawals. Seriously. I know that I ate crap from October 8th to January 5th, but really body? This sucks. The weight I gained sucks, the tight feeling in my pants sucks, the angry mood sucks, the headache-it sucks, and the fog in my vision sucks.
I forget when it all gets better, but this is the worst out of the three times I’ve done this. According to the Whole 30 Timeline, this is normal, but it must be like childbirth where I forgot all the bad parts and once considered doing it all over again because I’m definitely suffering over here. Really. I felt so bad yesterday when I picked baby Dean up that I didn’t go anywhere once I got home. Instead I ate all the things. I had a sweet potato. I chomped on some coconut meat. I ate a steak. I had half a banana. I drank soda water. I ate some more coconut meat. I sucked down an avocado. I sat on my ass and watched the Biggest Loser thinking that when I decided to not be fat anymore, that I was as big as one of the girls and that even though I am 50lbs away from my goal that I could be there by the end of this year and that was an obtainable goal. Even still, I thought about the M&Ms hiding in my cupboard and the luscious leftover holiday beer chilling in my fridge. I think that the beer will stay, but the M&Ms will have a meeting with the trash can this evening when I get home from the gym.