Day 9

I know I said I’d post daily and that was a mighty good plan, however, I am a single mother with a job and law school to contend with.  The past few days have been better, but there have been a few patchy (literally) days in there as well.

Days 4-6 I was up all night itching, scratching and going crazy with anxiety.  I had white bumps, hives and little pink bumps all over.  I can only attribute this to some sort of allergy (probably the uptake in coconut to which I have a mild allergy) or to candida.  I am not a believer in junk science, but I do believe that since I was on a strong antibiotic right before I started my Whole 30 and then I took all the sugar out of my diet that the bacteria in my gut was not the good kind and was manifesting itself as this crazy itch.  Nothing I did would stop it, it was like being bitten all over by mosquitoes.  Finally, I took some of my son’s eczema cream and smeared it every where and slurped down some of his allergy syrup just to get some relief.  I did more research and went and got some pau d’arco tea (anti-fungal herb) and started taking a pro-biotic.  So far, the hives have subsided and the itching has gone down a bit.  It would probably behoove me in the future to not ingest the ungodly amount of sugar that I was shoveling down my pie-hole prior to January 6th.

Aside from the crazy skin problems, I managed through some hectic days, my kill all the things phase interspersed with some toddler tantrums and lived to tell about it.  On Sunday (day 7), I spent  most of the day cooking recipes from Well Fed 2.  Yesterday (day 8), I realized that I didn’t cook any main entrees and was sort of bummed about it.  All that time and only sauces and sides.  And breakfast.  The Sunshine Scramble is divine.  Just sayin’.  I did manage to eat a bowl of ground beef with salsa and an avocado before my first night of class, so I wasn’t completely suffering.

During this Whole 30, I am having to reason with myself more than usual that I can stay on the Whole 30.  It helps to have visual aids like my white board calendar with the 30 days marked up on it to look at.  I also have a print out of Ryan Gossling to remind me that a dinosaur would not eat that.  Something in my brain wants dark chocolate or a glass of wine.  I know its the sugar demon and the stress of starting a new semester all rolled up into a nice little tricky hedonic hunger package.  I will keep saying, “no” and move through this.  I’ve done it two times before, I can do it again.

 

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I’ve got a bad case of the Mondays on Wednesday

I am not sure that I should be integrated with the general population.  Everything around me is really stupid, I have no time for it, or I feel completely overwhelmed through my sugar and shit withdrawals.  Seriously.  I know that I ate crap from October 8th to January 5th, but really body?  This sucks.  The weight I gained sucks, the tight feeling in my pants sucks, the angry mood sucks, the headache-it sucks, and the fog in my vision sucks.

I forget when it all gets better, but this is the worst out of the three times I’ve done this.  According to the Whole 30 Timeline, this is normal, but it must be like childbirth where I forgot all the bad parts and once considered doing it all over again because I’m definitely suffering over here.  Really.  I felt so bad yesterday when I picked baby Dean up that I didn’t go anywhere once I got home.  Instead I ate all the things.  I had a sweet potato.  I chomped on some coconut meat.  I ate a steak.  I had half a banana.  I drank soda water.  I ate some more coconut meat.  I sucked down an avocado.  I sat on my ass and watched the Biggest Loser thinking that when I decided to not be fat anymore, that I was as big as one of the girls and that even though I am 50lbs away from my goal that I could be there by the end of this year and that was an obtainable goal.  Even still, I thought about the M&Ms hiding in my cupboard and the luscious leftover holiday beer chilling in my fridge.  I think that the beer will stay, but the M&Ms will have a meeting with the trash can this evening when I get home from the gym.

Day 2, feel my f*ing wrath…

Yeah, it may be too soon, but I have a headache, am now just eating lunch at 3:12 and I feel as though I’ve been walking through a cloud since I woke up.  I really don’t care.  I went and got my hair cut at lunch, came back to bureaucratic emails from my son’s insurance plan, spent about 45 minutes on hold and tried to reset my password, which still wouldn’t log me on and I was very vexed.  Very, very vexed.

Last night, I came home to a lovely stew in my slow cooker.  I am eating that for lunch right now.  This morning (and yesterday,) I had hard-boiled eggs and coffee.  I don’t know why this is so satisfying to me, when a few weeks ago, I’d crave a breakfast sandwich and a diet Dr. Pepper.  I don’t have time for that shit right now though, I have real problems.  I’m starting to freak out about school, not having my house in order, and where in the hell is my writing grade?

Stress.  Need management.  I am going to lift later today, hopefully that will help.  I’m thinking that this may be a journey through my various emotions over the next few weeks as I gear up for school, Dean faces the transition of more time away from me and more with his nanny–plus the added bonus of his terrible twos.  For now, a massage sounds nice since wine is out of the question.

Whole 30, 3.0

Today is Day 1 of my third Whole 30.  I woke up, packed my food for the day, weighed and measured myself and got dressed for work.  It’s strange.  I can stick to this when I set the intention in my mind.  My body wants it.  My mind wants it.  It’s the one weird “diet” that I can see all the way through and feel adamant about and even a little pious.  I get disappointed when people fall wayward to a drink of booze or couldn’t find something to eat while they were out with friends.  It’s not a judgement thing, it’s an “I know it’s possible because I’m a broke single mom who works full time and goes to law school and I’ve done it twice” thing.  If anyone has no time, its me.  If anyone has no money, it’s me.  If anyone needs a drink, it’s me.  Seriously friends, you will feel good after you finish feeling like crap.  You will feel good after you have said no to that glass of wine, or vodka soda or gingerbread latte or brownie.  I promise.  Why?  Because it’s only 30 days of your entire life that you are saying no.  You are getting all the anti-inflammatory, gut wrenching foods out just for one month.

What am I doing differently this time?

1. Usually, I take it easy on the exercise for the first week, but this time I am not.  I am doing a 10k in April and I need to start training for that, so I have a lot of work out plans that I am committed to.  I am lifting two times a week and running three times a week.  I am going to derby on Sundays.  I may add a cross fit in there because it’s offered at my YMCA, but I need to discuss changing my work schedule with my boss first so I can work from home on Thursday mornings.  I’m thinking that this regimen will help me through some of those sugar cravings, because one of the things that was different about my second W30 is that I wasn’t doing derby and I was working out on my own, which left me unaccountable–going to derby once a week with my law school schedule is tough because I feel like I have more to prove physically to keep up my end of the bargain.

2. I will post my food and workouts daily.

That’s all I have on the plate for this round.  I’m pretty excited to see my results in February.  My results last time were better than the first, but during finals and the holidays, I gained back my 10lbs, plus a few more, putting me at 8lbs. over where I was when I moved to San Antonio.  I have a serious case of the post-holiday muffin top/gut bloat to work off.  Here I go…